Imagine a world where there was no judgment, shame, norms or rigid rules about how we should behave. But this is what makes being human so interesting. I do this as I don’t want to hurt or offend anyone and not everyone thinks and feels the way I do about everything. I very often have to double check my words before they come from my mouth. Of course, I’m not totally confident inside. I’m blessed with a mind of my own and talents I have developed over time. I don’t have to worry (or even care) about how normal I am. I don’t worry now about how “normal” I am By forcing them to fit into the middle normal section of society, we are sending the message to them that they shouldn’t be different. We know that children develop at their own pace and speed. The pressure to have our children “normal” is disastrous for any mother. From sleeping through the night, to toilet training and reading ability.
I was sticking to rigid routines and forcing my kids to keep up with “normal” children. I missed the opportunity to enjoy my childrenįor me, the real pain hit hard. I realised I was so desperate to fit in and be acccepted as a good, “normal” mother that I missed the opportunity to enjoy my children. It’s almost tragic when you realise that you and I are being denied the talents of musicians, artists, playwrights because they are trying to fit into the normal world. It means our actual brightness and brilliance is never exposed. But because we live in a world where it’s not good to stand out we tone them down. Some of us have gifts in ways that are truly beautiful. To fit into the norm, many of us must turn our natural talents up or down to suit the social circle we live in. Normal, and this is where my problems began. So all through your educational, social, family and love life, we seek to be one thing. You’re probably still thinking -ERM….YES, THERE IS! And you and I desperately try to fit in there for fear of looking like a fool. There’s No Such Thing As Normal We seek to be normal We still see the awful effects of this to-day with rates of mental health distress higher in men and women who are homosexual So because people who are homosexual are a smaller group they were seen as ” not normal”. The DSM is the psychiatrists bible of mental health disorders. At one stage, less than 50 years ago, homosexuality was labelled as a disease in the DSM. This type of process was once used to label people who are homosexual as not normal. Usually with some expensive drugs to help them fight their “disease or disability” and change their behaviour to normal.ĭon’t laugh. Then the middle group are defined as the “average or normal” behaviour. Scientists take groups of people, going from the “ manic” to the “ catatonic”. Mental health is sometimes measured much the same way. (I’ve over simplified this a lot but you get the picture!) All the school programs and curriculum are designed around the average child. This group’s speed and time is the average time to learn the alphabet. Then they take the group in the middle and declare this group the “normal or average”. They take a classroom, look from the slowest to the fastest. Let’s say for example they want to know how quickly children learn the alphabet. So scientists decide to look at studies of “normal” patterns of behaviour.
I know it sounds like a cliché, but I now have a daily gratitude chat with myself. It includes
So in trying to feel normal I drank too much. All the tell tail signs of desperate women trying to gain acceptance in a world were only the “normal” survive. Squeezing the eyes tight, putting the hands in the prayer position and being on my knees. I even did all the actions that went along with a determined person asking God to fix them. God bless God, but he never actually answered my prayers and made me normal. I had this daily ritual for the best part of ten years of my life. It would explain why I drank the way I did and drove him crazy in the process. I need to whisper them because if my husband heard me, he would then know, I wasn’t normal. “Dear God, please, make me normal” I whisper these words while on my knees at the side of my bed.
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